In Customer Experience Creation, there are few words that are more poisonous than the word, "fine." Everything is never completely "fine." There is always something that could be better. When you ask the right question, you will get the answer you need to improve your Customer Experience...
Feelings Inside Not Expressed
In America, we spend a lot of time trying to figure out how to do more with less. We call this productivity - doing more with the same or fewer resources. It has worked. We have mastered the biggest technological advances known to mankind. We truly are getting more done now than ever. But at what cost?
Our relationships suffer more than ever. Why do we do this? It's because we choose to communicate without really touching one another in a meaningful way. The result is significantly reduced emotional customer engagements. This translates into reduced loyalty in medicine, at the store, at the workplace and in life.
When we do talk to each other, we often miss opportunities to really engage each other, and to really have a meaningful interaction with one another. When we are speaking to our fellow man - our customers - we abuse them by asking questions that give us a false sense of security that everything is all right, when in reality, everything is not all right.
Why do we do this? It's because we don't have the guts to hear the truth. We tell ourselves that we are busy and we are afraid. Very afraid. To compensate, we ask a question that over 50 percent of the population will answer with one word... "Fine." We know what the answer will be, yet we ask.
How many engagements start out with,
"How are you?"
"I am fine... and you?"
"Fine."
What just happened here? We ask a superficial question and get a superficial answer. We haven't touched that person's life. They don't feel that we really care. If they did, they would tell us. We have missed an opportunity to touch another's life.
Also consider one of my favorites,
"How is your food?"
"Fine," we say as we continue talking to our friend over lunch without looking up at the waiter or waitress.
Why don't we look up? Because we feel the person asking the question isn't really interested. Why do we say "fine" when the fries are cold or the burger isn't just right? Because we really don't think they care anyways. Perhaps we don't like being interrupted. Or... We are worried about the time it will take. So we don't bother and an opportunity is missed to truly engage another human being.
And in many settings - medical, retail, call center, and way to many other places to mention - people aren't acknowledged.
According to dictionary.com, the word, "fine" means:
Satisfactory; acceptable: Handing in your paper on Monday is fine.
According to The Rainmaker Group, the word, "fine" means: Feelings Inside Not Expressed - STOP! You have asked the wrong question! Go back and ask a question beginning with "what" or "how": Everything is just fine.
Let's kick it up another notch... Is getting a "yes" or "no" response any better than getting, "fine"? Nope.
How about this classic when the grocery store cashier asks, "Did you find everything today?" Naturally the answer is "yes" even though we are thinking of something we should have found. Yet we don't ask for it.
Why do we do that? Why does the cashier ask a meaningless question without even looking at you? Why don't we catch their eye and ask for their help? Do they really care? I like to think they do... They just don't know a better way. They are trained to be robotic. And they don't know that the answer "fine" is a signal that they can do better.
Why do phlebotomists fail to acknowledge patients? I have seen many instances where there was barely a word exchanged. No emotional engagement! Ouch! And I don't mean to pick on one profession... This is a disease, my friends. This is a disease you can stop right now. You might check out my blog called, "The Opposite of Love is Indifference" by pointing your browser to... http://www.sinceracustomerexperience.com/2006/10/customer_experi.html#more.
WHAT IS GOING ON HERE? We dance the dance in life asking empty questions in a meaningless way getting some sort of comfort from it when we hear the answer of "fine" or, "yes" when they really meant, "No... my fries are cold, my heart is hurting, and I am having a bad day." Human beings are hurting!
Is this acceptable? No! We can do better! There is no greater privilege than touching another human being in a way that says, "I care about you."
Honoring the greatness in our fellow man does not allow us to ask meaningless questions that really do nothing to truly engage and help our fellow man, our customer. A better, more life-fulfilling approach is to ask the right question to begin with, because as soon as we hear the answer "fine" we know we have asked the wrong question.
The wrong question elicits the wrong answer. The wrong question robs us of the opportunity to really touch another human being in a way that just doesn't happen often enough in today's world.
So we have established what we shouldn't do. What kind of question elicits a response that doesn't include the words fine, yes, or no?
Come with me on this mental exercise...
First, we must have eye contact and a smile. With eye contact and a smile, we can disarm even the crankiest of our fellow man, patients, and customers. And when we show we care by giving our fellow man the most basic human respect such as eye contact and a smile, they are more likely to really share their stories. When we make eye contact, it's like we are shutting off the auto-pilot and the soul comes out. It's like shutting off the safety switch and coming out.
I am sure you will agree with me when I suggest we feel that people care more about us when they take that moment to connect with us. Since we cannot control others, let's work on us! I will work on myself first. I will lead by example.
Second, we need to ask a question that won't get the automatic "fine" robotic response.
Try questions like these for size. Take a moment. Roll them off your tongue one by one:
- "What can I do to improve??"
- "How can I help you??"
- "What are two things I can do to...?"
Notice these three questions begin with "what" or "how" and don't allow the meaningless response of "fine" or "yes" or "no"? These questions beginning with "What" or "How" that contain an "I" show our customer that we really care and really want to help them. When used in combination with eye contact and a smile, we have an incredible combination that will help us really engage with your customer.
Notice that the beginning of each of the above sentences don't begin with a "did" or an "is."
For example:
- "Did you find everything?"
- "Is everything ok?"
When we ask these questions, we have to remember we are all conditioned to answer with a token "fine," "yes," or "no." The response we get is a direct result of the question we ask.
Notice both question examples get us the monosyllabic answer "yes" or "no." A "yes" or a "no" response does NOTHING for us nor for them. It enables our fellow man, patient, and customer to hide and gives you no opportunity to really engage and truly help them in whatever they really need.
When we do get the "yes" or "no" or "fine" response, don't be hard on yourself, just start afresh! Simply re-ask the question.
Please take some time today. Start with five minutes if you can't spare more. Just start somewhere. Look at your customer's face - look in their eyes. Think of the uniqueness of that person for a moment. What does it tell you? Ask yourself, "What can I do to honor this person?" Ask... "How can I make a difference in this one person's life?"
Ask better questions. Take an extra moment to really touch that person to really understand them:
- "What can I do to improve your day?"
- "What did you do this weekend?"
Now go Maximize Possibility!
Other blog posts you may be interested in:
- What Time is the Three O'Clock Parade?
- Being a "Yes Man" Helps to Create a Powerful Customer Experience
- Angry Customers Mirror You
- Don't Let Customers Ruin the Experience
Chris Young helps organizations Maximize Possibility through talent management, cultural transformation, and strategic intervention. Bring Chris in today!
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